Friday May 20 is the new Friday the 13th

I had great plans for yesterday - including creating  birthday card for a good friend - however the constant threat of "parts run" reared its head.  I really welcomed the opportunity to go to Regina though, because I needed to do a costco run.  The other destinations were Youngs equipment, Waterboy irrigation supplies -BORING!

I managed to get to the city with minimal road rage which is nice.  I really don't mind the 80 km/hr or even the 60 zones as today I had plenty of time.  First stop Youngs Equipment, I pull in at 12:50.  The parts were ordered and had arrived so a quick and easy pickup right? Nope.  I had a small list of bolts and pulley that were not preordered and I had a bad feeling that this would become an issue.  Right.  Parts is always busy, but I noticed today that there were very few men getting parts - the women were obviously on call to get the parts and back to the farm pdq.  Youngs have little niche like areas where a salesman sits by a computer and there is a comfy stool for the customer on the other side.  At each little parts area stood a woman who was asked "Do you know the model number?"  Each of us hung our head in shame as we said no.  Note to self - look at equipment before leaving to get parts for it.

Of course my pulley had to be a make do one as the original no longer existed (we have machinery that was created shortly after the wheel). My parts guy - an extremely pleasant and patient man named Dale - put up with me phoning Murray to discuss what it was he needed.  Dale then searched the computer, a couple of those huge parts books and in the parts bins.  Then phoned the company - who said they would call him back.  All this time I was wondering if I would hold up the process if I excused myself to go to the washroom.  Turns out I could have had certain elective surgeries in the time that it took for this process.  Turns out that Dale and I decided I should go do my other errands and come back to the store by 6:00.  No problem, I would have plenty of time after all it is only 2:15.

But, I am in starvation mode.  I can feel the emptiness through my entire body.  This is a delusion of course as I have enough reserve 'fullness' to see me through an entire week, not just a few hours.  However, I have lunch.  This takes me to 2:45.

 l head to Waterboy, with a list.  Patty and Mary are wonderful (Rene is okay too but kind of a guy).  They have questions so once again I call Murray and he not only answers questions but doubles the order!  The girls ran around, filled the order, put it all in the back of my truck in record time, but still it was now close to 4:00 as I drive off the lot.

I head to Costco, which of course is insanely busy.  I shorten my order by half and get essentials only - clam juice, low cal drinks, and two trays of cherries.  Costco doesn't have the hand lotion Murray needs to keep his stumps healthy or Good Host Ice tea.  These too are essentials and at 4:39 I sigh as I put my stuff in my truck realizing  Walmart is now part of my plan.  After I get cheap Costco gas.  Everyone and his brother is getting cheap costco gas for the long weekend.  After waiting, getting my gas, and pulling out of the lot onto the street it is now 5:05.  Long ways from 6:00, but I better get a move on all the same.

Guess what.  Walmart was crazy busy too.  And they have a greenhouse.  Okay, I will admit it I am an addict, and there is no way I can walk by a greenhouse with huge sale signs flapping in the wind.  I pick up the essentials, and some plants including a really healthy looking patio tomato plant.  I have to move it now so I hustle to my truck - and the wind blows the top of my tomato plant off the plant.  I bite back the tears.  When I get to the truck and open the door one of the cherry trays falls out and spills entirely all over the parking lot.  Those damn things were $11 each so I take the time to pick up each and every cherry.  Whats a little asphalt to oldtimers like ourselves that have already been exposed to a lifetime of carcinogens? Also the wind blew my cheap dracenea right out of their pots and had to be stuffed back into them.  I bet they will be lovely!

I pull out of the lot at 5:35 and storm over to Youngs equipment.  So, I forgot to mention that during my shopping my son called and asked me to pick up a part at Youngs for his friend.  Ten minutes later the friend's wife called and said that a sister in law would pick it up and I didn't need to bother.  I careen into Youngs lot at 5:41 and walk up to the parts guy who looks confused at seeing me.  Not Dale, but his co-worker in the next niche.  He thinks he gave Murray's parts to another lady.  Oh no, I think, the sister in law.  Just then Dale takes a break from his current customer to say that yeah, that happened but he caught the mistake and Murray's parts are in a box on the shelf. I made it.

I drag my now tired and miserable self into my truck and head for home.  At 6:29 I am just at Edgeley when Murray calls and says "What's for supper".   That put me in a pretty bad mood - and his comment that I sure get grouchy when I have to get a few parts did not help it.

At 7:00ish we sat down to A&W pickup food.  I won't bother with the details of A&W, but suffice it to say that it was an appropriate end to a Friday the 13th day.

It is all happening again.

I have been away from my blog for so long that I couldn't find it.  So after at least one hour of searching on the internet, and possibly opening myself up to popups malware etc I  have found it. Now I cannot remember for the life of me what I was going to say?  I know it was an incredibly witty one sentence rant that was completely unique and all my own (NOT) and I am sorry I cant remember it as people would have benefited from my insite.  Oh well maybe it will come to me.

I attended a dance competition in Regina last night.  There were really only two people onstage - Grace Jarvis and Kaida Cochrane.  Well at least they caught my eye the most. There were a lot of parents, siblings, grandparents, and assorted family members all sitting on straight backed chairs in the Performing Arts centre. The paying guests were privileged to be allowed in to the auditorium where the performances were going on.  As this was not my first rodeo, I was aware the entire building and all that were in it were slaves to the adjudicators.  No one came in during a performance as that might disturb the adjudication.  No one left during a performance for the same reason.  Guards called "volunteers" attended the doors and I was thankful that I live in Canada and they were not armed guards however the result was the same.  Those who tried to come or go quivered in silent fear until the "volunteer" opened the door to allow egress and access.

As for the volunteers, I know who you all are.  You are the husbands who were told "I am getting that kid to the hall, in full makeup with a costume and with hair extensions attached and fluffed and sitting in the basement with her until it is her time to dance and after I am getting her undressed, and out of the hall  ALL  BY  MYSELF.  The least you can do is watch the door."

Anyway, I love dance competitions.  I may be a masochist.

The Griswolds catch their Horses and bring them home.

Our family has a strong affection for the Griswolds of National Lampoon fame. So often during those movies about going on a holiday, putting up Christmas Lights, having the whole family over for Christmas dinner – instead of laughing until the tears roll down our cheeks like other people – we just nodded our heads and thought “been there”! Recently, as the popularity of that series of movies has waned we have found ourselves feeling less and less affiliated with the Griswold club. But then, something happens that slams us right back into the familial arms of Clark, Ellen, Rusty and Audrey.

This time it started with my son getting two horses. The horses get out for the first time to be caught (eventually) for Brad as he works in Regina and wasn't home, by his Auntie Sharon and two female EA's from Balcarres and some guy on a quad,. This was funny enough, but one should never ever laugh!

The second time is on a day when Brad is home with his boys. The horses are there before lunch, but when he goes outside for his after lunch smoke, the horses are gone. Myth No 1: They can't have gone far. This was shortly debunked after driving aimlessly around the farm and neighbourhood and no sign of the horses. However, it was muddy, so there were prints. Myth No 2: I'll just follow the hoof prints and catch up with them. That lasted about an hour. Then, as his gas gauge slowly sinks to E, he realizes that he needs to call in the Cavalry. Myth No 3: Dad is always anxious to be the cavalry. Dad does head out to be helpful in locating the horses, but his workaholism soon takes over, plus he also is really low on gas – so he bales to go to the far end of Fort San Road to do a job. The horses had been located but now, what to do with them?

Doing his best cowboy imitation, Brad manages to get a halter on the quiet little one. The little boys in the truck cheer. He then manages to hoist himself atop the “quiet little one” in order to try and catch (coax?) the larger not so quiet one. He is promptly “ejected” from the horse's back (I have no details of how), but eventually he does get both horses, tied to the back of his truck. He heads back home. It is slow going. The little boys are quickly bored. All Parents know that there is NOTHING WORSE than being in a small closed-in space with two young siblings and it is worse yet when they are brothers! Brad decides he needs to make a better plan.

Myth No 4: Calling Mom is always a good idea -- she is the smart one. I head out with dubious directions as he really isn't sure of where he is anyway. North of Lipton. Okay so north east right left – these types of words are all meaningless Greek to me. I managed to get the information to turn right and go north from his farm. Having lived on that farm for 36 years – I do know which way is north from it. “Go past Onraits, turn and go left at O'Connors”. Ummm, okay...I have no idea where either of those farm yards are (Yes I know I have been to each of them, but who pays attention when they are taking a nice drive and it was likely 20 years ago and I can hardly remember where I park my car in the parking lot anymore!!) But...I decide to just go for it. How hard can it be? I have GPS (which has no idea where the Onrait and O'Connor farms are either)!

My instincts were right. He calls back and says don't go past O'connors, turn ("right/left/east/north?????") at Onraits and get on the grid that GOES PAST PLETZs. I know where that is!! No problemo. I am on my way to the rescue.

The plan is that Brad will take my truck, go to a neighbours and get a horse trailer, come back to his truck and put the horses in the trailer and we all go home and live happily ever after. (That was Myth No 5 by the way). I get past the Pletzs, and onto the Lipton Grid going some direction but he has included “towards Balcarres” in the instructions so I get it and all goes pretty much as planned until I come to the tricky part “go up to the big curve in the Lipton Grid and keep right and I am right there”. That is exactly what I did. I got up to the big curve and kept right which took me off the grid and onto a secondary road which, a couple of kms down, is under water. We have a really big truck, the road is really narrow, but I manage to get turned around and head back to the Lipton Grid – stay on the grid around the curve and there they are. A white truck, harried father, bored tired excited hungry thirsty and dirty little boys and two horses smirking at all of us as they are tied to the back of the truck. Just as my truck flashes “low fuel” on my info panel!

Brad and I have been communicating all this time using our cell phones so I am sure to grab mine, put it in my pocket and Brad and I make the trade. His final instructions are to keep going, he will catch up with us, just go about 3 -5 km/hr and go back exactly the way I came.

My first little lesson is that the mark between 0 and 20 km isn't indicating 5km/hr and the horses protest quite a bit at the pace. Owen insists that I am hurting them, so I slow down, secretly thinking “smirk at that losers!” So once I know the right pace the horses follow along just fine.

Owen wants gum. I tell him I don't have gum, but go ahead pull everything out of my purse and see if I have any, which he is doing anyway so he might as well be following orders. After 300 “how much longer” interspersed with 500 “when is Daddy coming?” amid untold hundreds of little upsets regarding who gets to sit where, window open/shut, elbow nudging, hair pulling etc etc – I feel that it would be prudent to give Brad a call and see just where we stand with all of this. I put my hand in my pocket and.....pull out the fob for the truck! I am pretty sure this means if Brad stops the truck he won't be able to start it again. It also means that my cell phone is in that truck, that which will shortly become useless to the driver. I glance at the contents of my purse Owen has strewn around and see the second fob for the truck. The real meaning of the phrase “well and truly screwed” comes to me with blinding clarity.

“Oh f**k” I blurt out in horror. Apologizing to two pairs of serious big blue eyes for saying a bad word does take the edge off panic. I pleaded it was an accident and really bad of me and then they listed the several things that have been done to them after similar accidental occurrences. Nothing to do but carry on with the horses, which I do.

All stops are pulled out now! These kids are done done DONE with this nonsense and really, who can blame them. I just agree with everything they say in regard to tired, hungry, bored, but I am really in agreement when we get to thirsty. It occurs to all three of us that we are, literally, dying of thirst. We take our mind off it by deciding what the other two should do if eg. Gramma dies first, or Owen, or Declan. Declan decides death sounds interesting enough and punches himself in the head and falls over “dead” on his seat. He is quiet and still for nearly 10 seconds, the longest he has ever been, and it is a blessed relief that Owen and I savour.

And then Owen finds a Gaterade on the floor of the back seat. The cheering and applauding are deafening. After a few false starts in opening it, I snarl “give it to me!” and remove the heat shrunk plastic around the top with a screw driver. Then of course the big issue of who gets the first drink has to be decided. We toss around the ideas of brute strength vs age vs rock/paper/scissors when Declan starts to bawl. Owen and I roll our eyes and tell him he can have the first drink. He hoists the bottle to his mouth lowers it and starts to cry in earnest. Owen grabs it and heatedly informs Gramma that we always have to take the foil cover under the lid off. “Off every Gaterade all the time” and really, poor little kid, he does have a struggle with me and my general ignorance of anything that is important. Foil removed Declan swigs down a huge mouthful. Owen swigs down an even bigger mouthful. Gramma gets a sip. Then it is the millilitre monitoring of each drink thereafter to ensure that one does not have more than the other.

My initial thirst slaked somewhat, I conclude that I really need a different kind of drink, and a strong one! Soon! It is time to humble myself (even more) and take action.

I stop on the road and wait for somebody to come along. Who does not have a cell phone these days ?Well I don't at the moment but that is an aberration of the the norm. I watch and pray that a complete stranger comes along. A white car slows down, opens the window and...it is somebody I know damn it! After as brief an explanation as I can make, I ask to use her cell, but it is hooked up to her car . Anyway, she is kind enough to let me try and phone Brad – no luck – and against every fibre of my being I choke out Murray's phone number. He is the last one one wishes to speak too when in a situation like this. In the meantime a truck comes up behind us. A farm truck. The farmer gets out and trudges up to us.

My friend tells me that Murray is on the phone and so the conversation through her open window into her car's speaker starts with me listening patiently to the assigning of blame as to whose fault this is (mine) who didn't listen when he said put the second fob back in his pocket (I didn't), who had to quit what he was doing and drive back from the far end of Fort San Road with a paid employee to discover that the second fob wasn't in the house (he did) who didn't have her cell phone (me) and who is generally too stupid to live (that would also be me). All the while I am having a signal and speak conversation with the farmer who says he will get his other truck that is hooked up to his horse trailer and take my horses home. I tell Murray, to Jackie's suppressed laughter, to tell Brad that Thomas (the farmer) will rescue me and I am bringing the horses home. Good Bye!!

We are saved. The boys and I see the light at the end of the tunnel. The sun comes out. Birds sing. Woodland creatures scamper around us in delight. Ah, thank you kind Thomas the Farmer.

When I next speak with Brad, (he has gotten a ride with the friendly neighbour who WOULD have let him borrow his horse trailer), we just have to laugh. The horses, once back in the corral, are fed and then Gramma is driven to her truck and we all go to our own homes and live happily ever after.

Except that I have to put $140.00 gas into my truck before I can get to the happily ever after part.

/bye

Come down with a case of "TOO STUPID TO LIVE"

Have had a really bad week for doing incredibly stupid things.  Things that even I realize are incredibly stupid without the help of family or friends pointing it out to me. ( I am surrounded by family and friends who love to help me in this regard.  Totally surrounded.  One just does not know how many helpful family and friends one has until one does something incredibly stupid).

Went to a specialist this week - positive I knew where his office was located.  Of course I was entirely wrong.  I couldn't pronounce the specialists name.  I couldn't spell it either.  I didn't bring his card, as I knew the time and place right?!  Found out pretty fast that if you can't pronounce it or spell it 411 can't help you.  I did manage to phone my own voice manager and listen to the message reminder the office made for me the previous day, got the number, got the address and to my credit I  w a s in the right city.

On the way out I went to Michaels to get a dear dear lady a gift certificate retirement gift from several people in the office from where I retired from but seem to work at a lot anyway.  We had collected enough for $175.  Got the card picked out, and realized that I couldn't find the envelop of money.  Struggled with the subconcious "where the heck did I put that? Did it drop on the ground or something?" voice all the time I was paying with my credit card and on the drive home.

On same trip to Michaels I bought yarn to make an "arm knitted" cowl for Aynsley.  As well, I bought meat and fruit and vegetables in bulk from COSTCO.  When I got home, I had some things to prepare for the Library board meeting the next night.  But...to relax a little I started the cowl only to realize that I can't put it down until it is finished!  How to you 'set aside' knitting that is being done on your arms??? Had to knit until the wee small hours (near 9:30 PM) and then start dividing up meat and veg and fruit and putting away!  Not into my little bed until almost 11:30 AND I HAD TO WORK THE NEXT DAY!!  God I am old....

At the Library board meeting the next night, it occurs to me that I never did get around  to preparing stuff.  I ask the board to move adoption of a blank budget, but the board is full of fidgety types when it comes to money and actually wanted details like real numbers in A L L  the blank lines.  Tabled of course.  "Tabled" means prolong the agony for another month.

The next day is the DAY AFTER THE MEETING and the first DAY THAT I DON'T HAVE TO WORK AT THE OFFICE FROM WHICH I RETIRED BUT SEEM TO WORK AT A LOT ANYWAY.  Phew.  What a relief.  I do an extra thorough job of housecleaning (i.e. the dishes and make the bed) and then treat myself to 9 episodes of Coronation Street. 

Friday night is the supper out retirement party.  So of course I spend the day making a card.  Well, not just a card, a card A N D a gift card holder.  Once the gift card holder is done, I try the gift card and it is just  SMIDGE too small to hold the card.  So I walk from my kitchen to the craft room to enlarge it a smidge and when I try the card to see if it fits now - I can't find it.  Must have left it in the kitchen.  While I am down at this end of my house I will gather up a load of laundry and then look for the card in the kitchen.  I guess I see a bright light, as when it is time for me to leave I realize that I haven't found the gift card.  I look.  I search. I panic. I hunt. Murray helps me look.  We look together.  We look separately.  We DO NOT FIND the card. I go to the grocery store and buy "Master Card" gift cards.  I do, however, find the envelop of money as it is in the way in my purse when I am looking for my credit card to buy the gift cards.  Someday, I will include "clean out purse" on my To Do list.

Anyway, I now breath a sigh of relief because last week is behind me and next week will be better.  And next year will be wonderful when I come across the Michaels gift card for $175!!

\bye

I have been busy

Recipe:

•  neon green cardstock, 
• Just buzzin by stamp set (wooden set from Stampin Up) 
• Designer Series Paper from Stampin up, 
• Happy Bee Day font "Bizzy"
• Got the "steps" design from a Youtube video.
• Used Stampin up pens and aquapainter to color hive, used pens on the little bees which are incredibly cute. Stickles on the wings.
• LOVE IT!!

 Recipe

• Chocolate Chip cardstock for card base
• Next layer:Off yellow - kind of a pale jaundicy type of yellow - then I ran the chocolate chip ink pad over the yellow lightly - which I then stamped paws all over in early expresso ink.  Ran it through the big shot using the honeycomb embossing folder.
• Doggie - used clear stamp set from Michaels on whisper white, punched around square, sponged with crumb cake.  Painted with stampin up pens and aquapainter pen.  Same for hydrant. Fussy cut hydrant.
• embossed black paw print using versamark and black powder, used my 13/8" punch to cut around it.  Created a slightly bigger circle using Cricut - matted paw print on Crumb Cake.  Adhered with sticky spots.
• Having a Birthday? on computer on crumb cake cardstock.  Sponged with early expresso.
  
  Inside that same jaundicy yellow, sponged with crumb cake, after printing sentiment from computer, stamped a brown paw print.

REALLY LOVE IT!!!!

•  Used the tools background stamp set, adhered to blue card stock.
• Chocolate chip ink on ivory cardstock for background
• Stamped again in red, and cut out wrench and level - colored/shaded with rust colored pen
• Used dimensionals to stick tools on small square of dsp. 
• the ticket punch and ticket stamp are from stampin up
• brown rafia string attached

aah - its okay.

 Recipe on Splitcoaststampers. Stamp set is "Under the Sea" by stampin up.

ITS PRETTY NICE.

 Made this one at Dianne's card Party.  Shauna was rep with the idea

 Followed directions on Gina Ks website. 

Got this from you tube, using aisan expressions stamp set.

Gina K design - used her stamp set.

 Another Gina K and my sweet little elephants stamps

 Used Dianne's Two by Two stamp.  Very cute!!


Just in case I give them all away!

At long last

I was on my kub kadet for the first time in 2013 last night.  You may recall that my kub kadet is my ride-on lawn mower, and that very few things give me as much peace as mowing my lawn.

Well, it was too early to mow any grass, but after Murray 'thatched' the lawn, there was a lot of dead grass and leaves and junk to mow up and bag.  It was a dirty job - dried grass clippings, leaves and detritus billowing up into my face and hair and onto my clothes and down the back of my neck and then there was the dust which affected all other areas of my being.  And then there was Murray asking me trick questions like "if the wind is blowing in this direction which way should you turn to avoid all the dust".   As soon as the word "direction" or "left" or "right" enter the conversation I panic, and I flash my deer in the headlights look.  And he would turn in frustration, wildly gesture with his artificial arms and say a few choice words to himself which were likely not that complimentary to me.

Anyway, I mowed away happy as a clam.  I was happy when the bagging tube kept coming apart and dust flew unhindered into the air and fell like snow banks onto my head.  I was happy when the bagging tube plugged up and I had to stop and empty it manually while the dust swelled around me.  I was really happy when the bags were filled and needed to be emptied because Murray was doing that part for me.

Alas, nothing lasts forever, and it was soon back into the house and laundry and dishes and all those general miserable jobs.  But, I have the hope that the grass will grow and that soon I will be mowing for real.

There is nothing more therapeutic than a ride-on lawn mower.

Well, maybe a roto-tiller but that is a story for another day.

/bye

Can you call (sniffle choke snort) Mom?

Murray and I have discovered a new low in pathetic-ness.  We both have a gastroenteritis that is particularly vile and disgusting.  Thank goodness we have two bathrooms - otherwise things would really be messy!  Have you seen the commercial where the grown man is sick in bed calling to his harried wife "Pam, Pam can you call Mom?"  That is us.  Of course my husband is more pathetic than I - but really not much more.  I have, of course, self-diagnosed on the internet and we are suffering from the Norovirus - or the Black Plague - either way we don't really care.

I blame myself, really, as I was just about over the cold and cough that has been lingering in my chest for the last month.  It was bound to happen - right.

Possibly it is a reaction to the fact that we cannot go on a winter holiday this year, because I was so ill in the summer.  No more discussion of staying here all winter, as I will be driven to tears.  Trust us to get Montezumas revenge at home!  Not a bit like takin' a trip and never leavin' the farm either! (Please don't email me if you are too young to know what I am talking about - I just don't have the strength for that).

We are beginning to run out of supplies here too.  Mr Really Really Sick (unlike me who is just, you know, sick) wanted an orange, or an apple, or grapes or a banana.  I suggested I could peel him a carrot, and he passed on that indicating that he is "not a Cochrane" (slight slam at "healthy Holly" - who is not sick btw - hmmmn?  Any connection I wonder?)  Same for the frozen peas. How pathetic.

One of the first comments anyone who has had the pleasure of hearing all this in person makes is "and you had the flu shot too" .  Pul - lease people.  This is gastro, not respiratory, which is the one your are immunizing against with the flu shot.  (See paragraph two above) - Yeah well, I still swear by the flu shot and get one every year. 


Anyway, my sister in law emailed a really nice New Years card to everyone. It was a very nice photo filled gallery that summarized their year. So, not to be outdone, and yet put my own personal spin on it, I thought I would write this really nice blog post - and wish everyone a Happy 2013. 

May your year be measured in something else besides kleenex and toilet tissue use.

/bye