What are these two ladies talking about? While speaking, each is looking around furtively.
“Here, just take this one” whispers the first, pleading
“Oh no, I just can't I promised my friend...” the other whispers back, begging for understanding
“She'll never know!” says the first.
Drugs? Arms? Illegal contraband of any kind. No much worse. It is a batch of Amish Friendship Bread starter. Oh I know it sounds nice – I mean the Amish are folk who live a simple lifestyle, in peace and harmony, unsullied by reruns or viral YouTube. Friendship is a state to be envied and sought after. And bread? Saskatchewan was once the breadbasket of the world, surely we would be in support of bread. For those who have not had a bag of Amish Friendship Bread starter given to them by a dear friend with a beneficent smile, if there is such a person anywhere, I will explain. The starter is a mixture of baking stuff, like flour and milk and baking powder and so on. It sits on your cupboard fermenting, with instructions to “mush the bag” or to add other ingredients until the 10th day. Then, you subdivide your starter into four bags of 1 cup each, and make your quick bread (or loaf – Holly will get this private joke) with the remainder. Oh sure it is delicious. Oh yeah everybody likes to eat it. There is no disputing that. But every 10 days you need to come up with friends who will take the extra starter off your hands. Some people can go on for many months, but I ran out of true friends after 10 days. Plus every 10 days I had to bake something, a very real hardship for a bi-annual baker like me. Actually, friendship bread starter is much like a litter of kittens. One day your cat named Fred manages to have a litter of kittens despite your best efforts. And they are cute, and adorable and soft and sweet. And NOBODY wants to take even one of your kittens. It gets to the point that you eventually give them out as Halloween treats to kids you don't know. (Except for the kids accompanied by parents who seem to find your house to return them – with a threat). So, my dilemma. I can't get rid of the extra starter – so what do I do with it? Throw it out? Isn't there a law or something about that? Can you take something useful, tasteful, nutritional and just pitch it out? Well, I did have permission from my friend to throw it out. Still, it is Friendship Bread starter. What would the Amish think of me if they found out? Halloween is a long way off. On the 3rd go around, I realize that I have no choice. I wait until darkness falls and then, looking around furtively, I sneak the extra starter into the garbage can. I am so glad the Amish don't use computers.
/bye
